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JUST A LOT OF JUMPING - James Rampton, Sitting in front of the TV
Sunday February 12, 2017 - Email this article to a friend

Snow carnage hits the slopes in episode two in Kuhtai. It's Snow Cross Week on the Channel Four programme.

As so often, Sir Bradley Wiggins summed it up perfectly.

During Sunday night's second episode of Channel 4's fiendishly addictive snow sports reality TV show, The Jump, the former Tour de France winner encapsulated what he thought about this week's featured activity of snow cross: "Stupid sport, really."

Of course, Sir Bradley - now sadly out of the series after fracturing his leg - is right, but that is exactly why snow cross is such fun to watch.

After all, what could be more enjoyable than watching a bunch of overexcited celebrities try to knock seven bells out of each other while effectively rollerblading down a perilous icy slope studded with obstacles such as hairpin bends, punch bags, and jumps?

The resident winter sports expert Graham Bell described the sport as a mixture of American football, ice hockey and wrestling, "But even then, you're nowhere near snow cross.

"This is snow carnage!" Rollerball looks a gentler option.

To emphasise just how dangerous snow cross is, presenter Davina McCall showed us a picture of the gigantic bruise on his bottom that former Welsh rugby player Gareth Thomas had picked up during training.

Trust me, it was not a pretty sight.

One of the chief pleasures last night was the anticipation of seeing Spencer Matthews from Made in Chelsea, who is rapidly turning into the pantomime villain of The Jump, being targeted by his competitors.

Matthews himself was honest enough to admit that, "There are quite a few people here who would love to see me battered!"

Olympic gymnast Louis Smith confirmed as much when he enthused: "I'm loving it, and I'd love it even more if I got to see Spencer fall over!"

His dreams came true in the snow cross race between Matthews and the rugby legends, Jason Robinson and Thomas.

The oval-ball boys ganged up on Matthews and double-teamed him.

Thomas nonchalantly squashed the reality TV star as if he was a pesky fly.

Afterwards, the Welsh rugby hero gleefully reflected that, "I used Spencer as a doormat!"

One of the other joys of The Jump is the random moments of surrealism that pepper the show.

On Sunday night, the first truly bizarre incident happened when a man in a Donald Trump mask was seen bopping to an Austrian oompah band behind Matthews.

Trump masqueraderTrump masquerader!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We were also treated to the frankly oddball sight of former Big Brother winner Josie Gibson in a gold cap and multicoloured shirt singing a rap tribute to Sir Bradley, while Davina McCall twerked next to her in yellow salopettes.

Trippy doesn't even begin to cover it.

In the event, Smith, a naturally graceful athlete with a stunning sense of balance, won the snow cross competition relatively easily, winning his second mini-cowbell trophy of the series.

Afterwards, he asserted, quite rightly, that, "It's great TV, it's great fun."

Smith crosses the line - Mark Dolan, Louis Smith, Robbie FowlerSmith crosses the line - Mark Dolan, Louis Smith, Robbie Fowler

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Screaming start: Amy Wilerton, Jade Jones Caprice BourettScreaming start: Amy Willerton, Jade Jones Caprice Bourrett

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Following a desultory ski jump, the comedian Mark Dolan came last and was sent home.

But at least he departed with an amusing line, announcing that, "I've had a worse week than David Beckham."

Mark Dolan - Mark Dolan - "Like a beanpole in a hurricane" said Davina

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


After last night's show, we learnt that sadly Sir Bradley has fractured his leg and will no longer be taking part in the competition.

He said that he was, "Gutted to be leaving The Jump." We are, too; we will especially miss his pithy asides.

Lacking its biggest star, we hope the show does not now turn into Hamlet without The Prince. More details on Sir Bradley Wiggins Quits TheJump

Still, looking on the bright side, next week we have the skeleton to look forward to.

As they hurtle down a treacherous, twisting ice track at 80 miles an hour with their faces just millimetres from the ground, it is easy to see why celebrities fear this discipline the most.

As the contestants prepare for the skeleton, there is clearly snow rest for the wicked.

Birds eye view of The Jump HQBirds eye view of The Jump HQ

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some of the funniest moments training for Snow Cross - week 2:


Spencer Mathews jumps 14.75m, and afterwards tells Davina, he thinks "That will do".

A desperate moment as Kadena Cox and Emma Parker Bowles fight to cross the line:

 

The Jump..ers -Calm before the storm The Jump..ers -Calm before the storm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jade Jones, Louis Smith and Lydia Bright #SnowcrossJade Jones, Louis Smith and Lydia Bright #Snowcross (Twitter)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Photos: Channel 4 - The Jump)

The Jump continues on Channel 4 at 7:30 PM on Sunday.

James Rampton reports on Episode 1 - You May As Well Jump

PlanetSKI previewed the 2017 Jump HERE - which includes an interview with Sir Bradley Wiggins.

See here for the main PlanetSKI news page with all the latest stories from the world of snowsports.

PlanetSKI: No1 for ski news

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